27 Questions I Want to Ask My Four Year Old

June 7, 2013 By Leave a Comment

 my four year old won't answer my 27 questions

“Mommy, what’s this? Daddy, why that?” It’s curiosity, and we know it’s good for them. But sometimes, the questions my four year old asks are just nuts. Questions he knows the answers to, questions no one could possibly know the answer to.

And I’m tearing our hair out trying to answer them. Or not answer them. All 832 that come at me in a day. Or in just one car trip to the store.

Maybe my son feels the same way. But hey, kids don’t have a monopoly on inquisitive minds. It turns out, I have a few qustions of my own.

 

Why do you scream?

Why do you fight with your brother over two exactly the same, completely identical matchbox cars?

How come you can “brush” your teeth in 4 seconds, “wash” your hands in 2 seconds, but it takes you 11 minutes to get into the car?

And another 6 minutes to buckle your seatbelt?

Where do you think you’re going when you head toward the street?

What makes you think you can hide food you don’t like by dropping it on the floor?

Why don’t you like carrots today?

Since when don’t you eat pancakes?

When will you stop asking when we’re building a swimming pool?

How come the sprinkler isn’t good enough for you?

What did you think would happen when you stuck your fingers in the door hinge, just so your brother couldn’t shut it?

What is that puddle on the floor?

Why do you come downstairs in the morning for breakfast with your pajamas on, when for the last 1,643 days you have been alive, breakfast isn’t served to kids wearing pajamas?

Haven’t you learned the moral behind the Little Red Hen story?

Why do you tell me you don’t have anything in your mouth when there is melted chocolate oozing from the corners of your lips?

What did you do with that spider?

What happened to your nose?

What happened to your brother’s eye?

How come you have the perseverance to build a tower of 72 Lego blocks, but lack the strength to match up 3 pairs of socks?

How long could you stay for a visit at your Grandpa and Grandma’s house without missing me too much?

Did you touch my desk? It looks like it’s been touched.

Why aren’t you wearing pants?

How did that pine cone taste?

Why did you suddenly forget how to put on your shoes?

Where is your Father?

That’s not a weed you pulled from the garden, is it?

Why do you keep asking me if there will be a quiet time today?

Filed Under: Parenthood

All In a Day’s Work: Have You Made Your Done List?

May 30, 2013 By Leave a Comment

Well, that picture just says it all.

But haven’t you heard of this? A “Done” list, rather than a “To Do” list. The whole idea was music to my ears. It’s a nice solution to the end of a long day when you’re perhaps feeling overwhelmed, and unproductive. Maybe you call it a Done list, maybe you call it a Work Log of Your Completed Tasks. But if you need a boost, call it something, and jot down all the actions you’ve taken in a day, and sit back with a sense of accomplishment. (And don’t worry about all the things that didn’t get crossed off that other list).

I’ll go first.

  1. Made breakfast
  2. Cleaned up breakfast.
  3. Got Boy One off to school.
  4. Cleaned up 4 kid messes before 8:30.
  5. Changed their pants.
  6. Changed their shirts.
  7. Changed my shirt.
  8. Changed my pants.
  9. Took one kid back up to his room so he could simmer down from his madness.
  10. Prayed.
  11. Went to my room with my coffee for a few minutes so I could simmer down from my madness.
  12. Prayed.
  13. Started over.
  14. Helped out a smidge at my son’s school while my husband took the younger boys on errands.
  15. Cleaned some house.
  16. Did some laundry.
  17. Worked on freelance work.
  18. Attacked my email inbox.
  19. Contacted a site owner who had stolen work from the site I edit, and passed it off as a guest post. (Nice try, chick).
  20. Prayed for her.
  21. Celebrated with the family Boy One’s last day of school.
  22. Took the kids to a bookstore.
  23. Lost Boy Two in the bookstore.
  24. Found Boy Two in the bookstore.
  25. Reminded Boy Two (and Boy One and Boy Three) that when he is lost, he is to stay put, and I’ll come find him. Really, I will.
  26. Had some fries, a chicken sandwich, and a Coke – all in the same evening. Regretted that.
  27. Shared an ice cream cone with my son. Didn’t regret that.
  28. With my husband, watched the boys play outside together.
  29. Cleaned up the kitchen.
  30. Did another load of laundry.
  31. Wrote this post.

As I look around me, there’s still random socks, stacks of papers here and there, and sticky notes with Things To Do – but this feels pretty good. What did you do today?

Filed Under: Let's play house, Writing

Home Again, Gone Again: What Children Can Learn From Having a Traveling Parent

May 16, 2013 By Leave a Comment

traveling parent

According to Business Insider, 445 million business people took trips in 2011. That’s a lot of frequent flier miles.

That’s also a lot of families left at home without the regular help of two parents.

The schedule of a business-traveling parent who has to leave home for a few days can create some chaos for the children, and the spouse, left at home. What do you do when Dad hops on an airplane, and will miss the baseball game this weekend? What about the overwhelm for the spouse who has to deal with (sometimes last-minute) schedule changes, and a household and family to manage on her own?

There are some solutions, and it turns out kids can learn a thing or two in the process.

7 Simple Geography Lessons For Children of Traveling Parents reminds parents of those simple map skills we take for granted our children are learning in school. A traveling mom or dad can bring home (literally!) a rich geographical and historical education for children. Don’t pass it up.

Small lessons for younger children can help them understand a little about time while a parent is traveling for business. It’s an abstract concept for young kids, but these tips from When a Parent’s Away: Learning Through Distance, may offer comfort and connection as they wonder when Mommy is coming back. Materials needed: a map, a handful of stickers or push pins, and a few minutes of your time.

And for the parent left with a passel of children? You’ll need your own tool kit as you manage a normally two-parent household without the Out the Door: 4 Tips for Home Base Survival With a Parent on Call. (Yeah, I know, the help is mostly for you to help the kids, but it’s a place to start, yes?)

Do you manage a home and family with a parent who travels? How do you make it work when unexpected trips come up?

 

stock.xchng photo by kmcool

 

 

 

 

 

 

Filed Under: Parenthood

When Escaping to Technology Is a Great Parenting Technique

January 29, 2013 By Leave a Comment

laptop_beach

We all know that texting (or web surfing, or doing anything on social media) while parenting isn’t the brightest idea. It’s really best to keep your mind on your kids. And I know I’m not alone when I confess: I’m guilty, at times, of wanting to escape to the safe writing haven my computer,  or the social circle of my smartphone to get away from my kids. That’s not so good.

But those tech gadgets can totally come in handy, and help you be a better parent. For real.

My Boy Two is a strong, strong-willed child. He’s made great strides in the last year (and frankly, so have I) but he is still intense, built like a linebacker, and with tantrums to match his physique. The kind of tantrums that are visceral. The kind you can feel in your bones, make his face red, and my ears ring. His typical method is to thrust his face within a few inches of mine – and let me have it.

And it’s sometimes all I can do to not let him have it back.

In the past, I’ve hauled him up to his room, but I can’t do that so much anymore. It’s kind of hurting my body. (Did I mention he’s big?) Daddy and I have worked with him on his temper and his self-control, but there are some moments NOTHING makes it better. Some moments that any kind of interaction – a word, even a hug, makes it worse.

1. When your child angry, and ignoring him is the only option you have.

At those times, ignoring him is the best thing I can do. For him, and for me.

2. When you’re angry, and the best way to deflect your anger, is to concentrate on something else.

And the best way to do that, is to have something else for me to do. Right there – while he’s screaming at me.

So one day, I planted myself at my computer, and started getting work done. Another time, I put my feet up on the couch with my phone, and read emails. I scrolled through my Twitter feed, and found things to retweet on behalf of a client. I got a few meal ideas from Pinterest and clipped them onto my Evernote. I caught up on my friends’ Facebook statuses.

I felt guilty for about a minute. And then I didn’t.

3. When you still need to be in your child’s presence, to make sure he’s safe. 

I got focused on something else, and I knew he was safe and okay (because he was still screaming beside me), it worked. Not for him, at first. He went on for awhile. But it worked for me. I directed my attention to a world outside of my house. I stayed calme. And he eventually got calm.

And so then we could talk. And digress. And hug.

When your child has lost his temper, what keeps you from losing yours? 

 

Flickr photo by cogdogblog (Boy, how I wish I had a beach to see from my laptop. That would help me stay calm. I think.)

Filed Under: Parenthood