Bad Diet Quotes and Advice From Celebrities in 2012

January 18, 2013 By Leave a Comment

It doesn’t matter which star sold the lines, or that they were said last year. We’ve heard them all before. Seasoned moms aren’t buying it, but teenagers might be. We love to see you at your best and healthiest, celebrity – sisters, but if you’re going to talk about your fitness, at least be honest about personal trainers, personal home gyms, and a drastic slash in carbohydrate intake.

1. “I don’t deprive myself of things I want.” You don’t? I do. Handcut fries, white queso dip, Mexican Coke, sausage balls when it’s not Christmas. Don’t lie to us. Of course you deprive. Otherwise, your waist wouldn’t be, you know, so very, very small. Tell us what you eat: a grapefruit for breakfast, maybe an egg for lunch. So we know. And you at least make sense.

2. “I just keep up with my kids.” So do I. So do millions of other moms. Without a nanny or a housekeeper or a personal assistant. Running, yelling, dirt-hill-climbing, stick-fighting, princess-playing, Lego-building kids. My lower tummy feels like a wad of dough, and my thighs still need just the right denim wash to camouflage their buoyancy. If just keeping up with kids was all it took to look that svelte – or starved – moms everywhere would be shopping for odd-numbered clothing. As it turns out, we’re not.

3. “I really have no idea how I keep losing weight.” So said Rihanna, according to US Weekly. Yeah, okay. Take it from me, girl. You should know your body better than that. Unexplained weight-loss? Go see your doctor, or stop lying to your fans. Young girls are listening. And watching.

4. “It’s just daily small steps.” Um-hum. Daily small steps amounts to good, healthy weight loss over time. Drastic weight loss in a few months, resulting size 0 clothes hanging off a skeletal body is the result of something drastic. And unhealthy.

stock.xchng photo by african fi

Filed Under: Uncategorized

11 Things I Learned After Finally Getting My First Smartphone

November 8, 2012 By 3 Comments

The iPhone 5 was my first, I mean my VERY first phone with photos and texting and the internet. Though my girlfriends chided me for my lack of technological advancement, I held out to the bitter end.

Now, I’m no techy expert. For technology trends, go see Evolved Mommy. For real blogging & website assistance? Follow Blogging With Amy.

But I still have a VCR  and a landline phone, so my perspective isn’t one you’ll hear every day. What I’ve discovered about this ridiculous little contraption:

1. Up until now, I have saved quite a bit of money.

2. Best feature so far: I can make a grocery list, and never, ever leave it at home. Bonus: I can send it to my husband, who can go shopping on his way home.

3. Taking photos, and sharing them, is waaay too easy. I’m in danger of becoming one of those parents who over-shares their children’s cute moments/accomplishments/faces full of pasta sauce on Facebook. Sorry.

4. Being able to answer emails in the car line at my son’s school is the greatest thing in the world. Yay for productivity and time management.

5. Texting is cool and all, but fiddling with all those little buttons makes me feel like an old person.

6. I’m really glad for the little spell-check text feature that changes, “mert” to “meet.”

7. On the other hand, it can change the word “friend” to “grieve,” so I still have to proofread.

8. iTunes is better than a mixtape. I’m old enough to remember those. Are you?

9. On that note, iTunes is probably where I’m going to lose my life savings.

10. Siri isn’t all that impressive. She won’t obey commands to cook supper, fold laundry, or sort mail. Seriously, that chick needs to take on some chores.

11. The best tech support for a smartphone? Tweens. Those 14, 13, 11-year-olds are better than an online tutorial, and handier than an app.

What’s the best thing for you about your phone? 

 

stock xchng photo by Loraw2000 (because I don’t yet know how to take a photo of my iPhone, with my iPhone)

Filed Under: Uncategorized

My Best Productivity Tips For Work-at Home Moms

October 1, 2012 By 2 Comments

 

Three young children. Home management. Freelancing. Like most moms, I’m busy. All the time. Back in the day, I knew how to be a super-productive teacher and graduate student, too.

 

But trying to transfer workplace productivity into home management and freelance work left me feeling like the perverbial hamster plugging away on that blasted wheel.

So I made some changes.

 

I kept the good habits, and did away with (and still doing away with) the old. When I allowed my writing to turn into part-time freelancing work, my system needed an overhaul. I’m still tweaking things, but here is what helped me.

 

1.Get ready for the day at the start of the day. This advice comes from my mom. I don’t always follow it, I’m never sorry when I do. Whatever getting ready means for you – do it before the kids get out of bed. You’re all set when your doorbell unexpectedly rings, or you remember last-minute that it’s your job to take snacks to ball practice.

 

2. Shorten the appearance process. If you wear makeup, and if you have hair, learn to fix them both in under 5 minutes. Sometimes this means not washing hair. Forget the 5-minute face. 3-4 minutes tops means you can do it on your way out the door.

 

3. Improvise. If it’s been a couple of days since you made it to the shower, and you have to run an errand, just put on workout clothes. The people in the checkout line will get it. You smell because you’re training for that 10K. Even if you’re not. (And a little sweat smells a thousand times better than an overdose of perfume).

 

4. Stop over explaining/trying to reason with your children. When possible, answer their questions regarding permissions to do this or that with a yes or no – nothing else.

 

5. Don’t compare yourself with other parents. It’s okay to learn from them, but don’t, under any circumstances, allow them to intimidate you. I include this as a productivity tip because I’ve wasted a precious lot of time comparing myself with others. Learning to break that habit has saved both time and energy (not too mention sanity).

 

6. Keep a variety of  food in the fridge you can pull out fresh.
My favorites include sugar snap peas, dried fruits, cherry tomatoes, pasta/pizza sauce, fresh bell peppers, roast beef, grilled chicken, and sandwich fixins. Rock-solid frozen casseroles have nothing on these foods when it comes to putting together a nutritious and convenient meal in a pinch.

 

7. Use a tickler file. Here is how to start.

 

8. Work from Context lists rather than To Do lists. I learned about making a different kind of lists from David Allen’s Getting Things Done (GTD). Revolutionary. For me, anyway.

 

9. Use short batches, or intervals, of time. It’s hard for me to start on a big task when I don’t know how much time I can commit to it. But that shouldn’t let me off the hook from doing certain tasks when I only have a few minutes. This article on highly productive people from Yahoo Shine! calls it “balancing your workload.” Have tasks you can do while kids are getting shoes on getting to the car, or a list of  phone calls you can make while you’re in the car rider line at the end of the school day. These little batches of work add up over time.
Filed Under: Let's play house

Looking At (Everyone Else’s) Beach Vacation Photos

August 7, 2012 By 2 Comments

Facebook statuses are so cool.

They remind us of birthdays, celebrate anniversaries with wedding photos – complete with the bride’s  eye shadow competing for attention with her lipstick – and both competing with the hair (thank you, 1980′s!).

Statuses make requests for prayers and good thoughts as friends deal with illnesses, job interviews, new babies, and overseas military assignments.

And then there are the beach photos. Hawaii, Florida, a far-off beach on another continent. Kids trying out boogie boards. Infants who will never, ever remember the trip even look like they’re having the time of their (very new) lives.

I really, really want to take my kiddos to a beach. I want to see them play in the sand, torture a poor crab by chasing him down, get scared when the wave comes up on the shore, only to chase it back out to sea.

But a trip to the beach wasn’t in the cards for us this summer. I have to settle for endure the photos of other moms in cute swimsuits with the daddies building, like, the best sand castles, EVER.

So I’ll try not to get too wistful about those date night pictures at restaurants by the shore (‘Cause the whole family went on the vacation. Translation: Grandma and Grandpa were invited. Well played, my friends).

But I know a thing or two:

Thing #1: That vacation wasn’t all happiness. People had to pack for all those kids and then travel with them in car for hours –  and not filing for dissolution of marriage in the process. Post a photo of that car trip on your status, about one hour before you reached your destination. And also, the scene that came before this one: 

Thing #2: There was an afternoon/early evening meltdown by one of the kids after a day overloaded with sand and saltwater. Let those of us who didn’t get to go check out that image. Actually, a video would really be better. Didn’t you film it? Come on. Be real. Share the love.

Just for the rest of us. Or at least for me.

 

flickr photo by The Birkes

flickr photo (perfectly posed kids) by tracitodd

Filed Under: Let's play house