A Month After Mother’s Day, Let’s Reflect On Lessons Learned

June 11, 2012 By Leave a Comment

The flowers have long wilted, and the glitter from you homemade card has probably been picked off by the baby.

So I won’t go into the part about how children really hit home what it means to show love and sacrifice, nor will I talk about how motherhood/parenthood is tough. ‘Cuz everybody knows.

I’m talkin’ about the day-to-day practical living skills that get us through, the juggling of The Neverending.

Flexibility

Not the kind that comes with yoga (though we’ve probably learned that, too). The kind that I know well when I started this post, initially titled, “The Day Week After Mother’s Day.” Blog didn’t take priority last month, so let’s get this in before Father’s Day is upon us.   :)

Cosmetic improvement

Forget The 5-minute Face. Real moms can do a 4-minute face, and I’ve mastered a 3-minute face, and a 2-minute face, alternating these looks – depending on the time I have and how late I slept past my (first) alarm. We know splashing on color and coverage, while slightly superficial, and not quite as newsworthy as the 4-minute mile, is still a highly useful skill.

Fast food

How to whip together a meal, and make it look like you really planned one, when you haven’t really planned one. Yanking cold veggies, lunch meats, cheeses, and fruits out of the refrigerator and laying out – buffet style – just like the sandwich bar at the trendy, family-friendly downtown restaurant, and those put-’em-together Lunchables they keep begging me to buy.

Cleanliness

Mommahood has also taught us that it’s okay to sift through the children’s dirty laundry and fluff up clothing in the dryer with a bit of special spray for no-clothing emergencies. Oh wait, we learned that in college.

Work ethic

Now, I’m not accusing anyone of being lazy, but what did you do before you had kids? I’m ashamed to think of all the free time I had. With children, we accomplish 87 things in a day simply because we have to. We have learned to make everything count, and hardly find any down time for reading or movies - the reason there is so much talk about that tiny slice in our pie graph of a day referred to as “me time.”

Tell me, please. What lessons have really learned from mommyhood?

 photo:  Daisy-Woman Juggling by Matthias Gelinski

Filed Under: Uncategorized

It’s Good to Venture Up Into the Attic Once in a While…

May 2, 2012 By Leave a Comment

…because you don’t want to forget about the bedding you stored up there when your toddler had to start sleeping on a low fold-out couch (because was leaping off the bed like Superman, and you were worried about concussions).

… so you get a reminder of the 76 rolls of Christmas wrapping paper you have stored. (This one will save you money for decades to come). ‘Cause it’s spring cleaning time.

…to make sure there is no evidence of living creatures/as assurance those things that go bump in the night really are just your imagination.

An occasional trip to the creaky-floors and dusty roof walls will also teach you why you shouldn’t store candles up there. Clue: when it gets hot, wax melts.

My attic doesn’t have cool, vintage-y things like the photo. And it isn’t like the one in the contemporary version of Father of the Bride, where there is room for a mom, a daughter in a wedding gown, and a full-length mirror. And Steve Martin.

If I had an attic like that, I’d send the kids up there to play, and occasionally go hide hangout myself. Instead of a man cave, it would be a mom den.

But  for now, my attic is secondary storage, or at the very least, a nice thrift shop waiting for it’s once-monthly customer.

I love having an attic, but it’s kind of creepy up there, so I don’t visit much. How often do you creep up to yours?

photo credit: stock.xchng photo by dirtypaper (top)

Filed Under: Let's play house

Listen to Your Mother

April 27, 2012 By Leave a Comment

I haven’t made time to write a whole thing, but Lela Davidson is the producer and director of the  Northwest Arkansas show for Listen to Your Mother.  She wrote the whole thing here.

A bunch of fabulous, local ladies will be reading their work in celebration of moms, and in plenty of time for Mother’s Day next month.

Local sponsors include: Peekaboo parenting magazine and NWAMotherlode. Net proceeds will go toward the Arkansas Visitor and Exchange Center, providing services to children living with family crisis.

I have my ticket for our local showing at the fabulous Walton Arts Center this weekend in Fayetteville, but this show is on in several major cities around the country. Do you have yours?

Check here to see if there is a Listen To Your Mother program in your area. Then go, and listen up.

 

 

Filed Under: Uncategorized

Teaching Children Perseverance Instead of Competition

April 16, 2012 By Leave a Comment

 

Have you ever heard an adult say to your child (incredulously – not in a helpful way), “You mean, you don’t know how to ______?” (Name it: tie shoes, pedal a bike, write his name).

I have. It used to be humbling – sometimes humiliating.

I don’t mind other people disciplining my children, but shaming them? Yeah, one of those time I should have spoken up.

Are there skills I could have worked on harder with some of my kiddos? Yep.

Have I helped them learn a thousand other things? I think so.

Do I have a tendency to observe other children and sometimes think they should know how to do more? Sure.

Children have to be taught to persevere, to keep going when the going is tough, to not quit, not give up, and roll with the punches – for their sake, and for development their character (not to show off or so Mommy can save face in the presence of another parent).

If my children are participating in a competition, I want them to do their best to try and win. If they are not in a competition, I don’t expect them to compete at all.

I know adults who compete at everything. It exhausts me to think about it.

A pastor recently pointed out that the only place in Scripture where competition is encouraged is in Romans 12:10 where we are commanded to honor others above ourselves, and in fact, to outdo one another in showing honor and brotherly love.

Not even this verse is a description of competition – Hebrews 12:1 (that talks about running with perseverance the race set before us), instead running toward Christ and his will for us as individuals – servants – for his glory. Did you catch that?

Run with perseverance.

I have learned to step back in these situations and make sure that, when I am encouraging my one of my children to do something I know they can, or expecting them to complete a job or a project they are capable of doing, that I am teaching them to persevere (for their sake) and not compete (to please others).

Where do you draw the line between teaching perseverance and pushing competition?

Flickr photo by cscott2006

Filed Under: Faith